There is nothing like winding up a stressful day by seeing our partner’s happy face and having a delicious meal with a glass of wine hearing romantic slow jazz by sitting in our most comfortable chair with our lovely partner.
Question is, how many couples believe that their happy place is with their partner?
No one likes to be with someone who is nagging all the time or someone who is criticising every little thing or someone who doesn’t help with any simple chores in the house. Here I’m not going to list all the annoying things that we can see from people.
If you are unhappy with your partner’s behaviour and you are desperately finding a way to make your partner more supportive, these tips will help you.
- Try to change your viewpoint towards your partners’ contrary actions
For example, let’s say your partner is not spending much time with you. If you see more widely towers matter from your partner’s side, you will definitely see the answer. It’s because maybe you always nagging about something, whenever he/she comes to you or maybe you start to talk about literally everything inserted of listening to him.
Therefore, as the first step of making your partner more supportive, always try to see the point from his side before you start to complain.
- Spend more time to listen rather than try to win your argument.
When we are hurt or heartbroken, it’s more natural to be angry and try to release our anger by hurting the responsible party. However, for once, try to listen to your partner’s reasons for being not more supportive and then try to build up a healthy conversation with a calm mindset. If you explain to him/her your feelings and expectations from him/her in a lovely way, I’m pretty sure that he/she will at least give it a try to adjust their behaviour to make you happy and make you feel more secure.
- Make a list of your partner’s most admirable qualities
If you can’t see any good in your partner, this list will help you. Love is not enough when two people getting start a life together. There should be much more understanding to make things easier in order to continue a healthy relationship. Therefore, take a break and calm down your mind. Then list down all the qualities that you love and admire of your partner and whenever you feel to the complain, read this list. It will show you that how he/she try to make you happy and comfortable.
- Make the couple gratitude journal
In here, you don’t have to maintain a journal or a book. Just be grateful to your partner by saying “Thank you” or by giving a small gift or flowers or a kiss for his or her effort to make you happy. Don’t forget to express your gratitude in words too because the other person can’t read your mind. A small appreciation note also can go a long way. When your partner thinks that you notice his/her effort to make you happy, he/she will automatically tend to do more such things.
- Self-evaluating questioner
Communication is key. Whenever you hurt, lead the conversation like this; “whenever this happened, I feel sad and frustrated. What feelings are you having?” and please don’t ask like “whenever this happened, I feel sad and frustrated. Don’t you feel the same?” Always keep in mind that your partner’s feelings are important too.
The point of doing all the above basic things is to make your partner more supportive by making them more comfortable around you and making them feel that his/her opinion also matters. If you can respect his/her feelings, I’m sure you will get the same from your lovely partner. Always try to express what you need by initiating a healthy conversation and make sure to listen more and complain less. If you still feel the same, you can always try couple’s counselling and therapy.